


Sophie’s Choice ain’t got nothing on this

by Pram_The_Oracle



Series: DaveJade Spacetime Week 2018 [6]
Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-01
Updated: 2018-11-01
Packaged: 2019-08-14 09:49:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16490324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pram_The_Oracle/pseuds/Pram_The_Oracle
Summary: Davejade Spacetime Week 2018 Friday 2 November: Cozy WeekIndecisive groom to be Dave, meet impatient bride to be Jade.





	Sophie’s Choice ain’t got nothing on this

**Author's Note:**

> Alternate Universe where SBURB never happened, and the trolls are humans

“Alright Dave, what is this really about?” You ask your beloved-but-right-this-moment-positively-infuriating Fiance. Right now you’re out on the street, and luckily, not a lot of traffic so you can have some privacy. Just a few moments ago you were in your FIFTH(!) wedding decoration shop, where Dave still hasn’t decided on which tea cozy to use. At first you just tell him ‘It’s ok, maybe the next store has a better selection.’ but now around the third shop you realize there’s something more going on.

“What do you mean? I just can’t decide whether to go with baby blue and cream, that’s all.” He said, but even with his shades on you can tell he’s not looking you in the eye. Still, you’ve got him this time.

“Dave, that was 2 shops ago. This shop had indigo and scarlet.” He can’t deflect that.

“... shit.” He said now turning his face away from you.

“Come on Dave, this is me.” You say, in what you hope is a soothing tone. You reach up to touch his cheek. “You can tell me anything and everything. What’s up cool guy?”

Outwardly, you hoped to show a dependable aura. Inwardly however, you start to panic. Is he having second thoughts? Is he calling off the wedding? Why, why would he call it off? Did he turn gay? Does he prefer his ex Terezi? That hussy! Does he not think they can raise kids? Does he think he’s a bad dad or you’re a bad mom? Does he think marriage is an outdated institution of law and he prefers to live a free bachelor life?

“-my choice.”

“Huh?”

“They’ll laugh at my choice.” Dave murmured, head staring at the ground.

You tilt your head. “Laugh at what choice?” At her? At his choice for a bride?

“At my choices. They’ll laugh at what I choose for the plates and the lamps and the fucking tea cozy.”

You look at him in disbelief. Trying not to raise your voice, you ask him. “Dave, what the fuck are you talking about? You’re the one that wanted to get married in a dress and have a priest dressed up like Elvis to marry us, all in the name of ultimate irony or whatever but you’re worried they’ll laugh at the fucking lamps?”

“You don’t understand.” Dave began, shaking his head before striking a dumbass thinking pose. “It has to be absolutely perfect. Irony doesn’t mean putting colors that clash willy nilly Jade, it has to perfectly clash with each other so that-”

Good god you’re marrying a perfectionist. You tune out what Dave is saying, readying yourself for what you have to do next. You grasp his face with both hands, stopping him and force him to look at you.

“Dave. Relax. We’ve got this okay? If you feel unsure about your choice, you can discuss it with me. I’ll make sure it meets your unreasonable standards.” You say with a level voice.

“You’re sure?” He says. Well, at least you think he said that, his face is kinda smushed so he mumbled something unintelligible but you guess that’s what he meant.

“It’ll be both the coolest and most ironic wedding Dave. I promise.” You smile. Dave smiles back, seemingly content. Phew, crisis averted. Dave sure can be a handful at times. It almost makes you want to tease him… ahh, you got it! 

You pull Dave inside the store again, and lead him to where the tea cozy are put on display. You give Dave your biggest shit eating smile, patting his cheek with a bit more force than necessary while saying,“Now choose a fucking tea cozy already Dave. You’ve got 10 minutes.” You kiss him on the cheek before leaving a slightly panicked Dave to his own devices. The other wedding decor aren’t going to choose themselves you know? But you make a mental note to return after five minutes or so. You can’t stay mad at him forever.

**Author's Note:**

> It was a lovely ceremony. Though Dave’s vows went a tad on the weird side.


End file.
